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Here Again

by A Will Away

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1.
Here Again 02:22
I sat on your car and dented the hood again. This isn’t your fault, but who’s gonna pay for it? I see from your face that things should be different. We’ve always been good, But we’ll never be here again. If you feel you’re wasting time, Then your cup should run over With more of mine. Hold it ‘till the bitter end. We’ll never be here again. I’m always behind the feelings you fed to me. Division of life, The game of the century. For what it’s worth, I know what I want to be -- Forever lacking all civility.
2.
Pay Raise 02:59
Pay raise, The status symbol that you wanted. But daddy’s got a shotgun, And he’s going out to blow off some steam. Those days Should have put me in my coffin. But everybody’s got one. An opinion, if you know what I mean. I’m convinced if my worries Present in a hurry, I’ll try to keep my name off your list. Everybody’s playing by their own rules And it’s making me feel sick. Cheap stays, A bad decision in the making. Where I caught my reflection, And noticed I looked half in the bag. How strange, That we’re making this connection. The fact you even showed up, Verifies the feelings you had. I’m convinced if my worries Present in a hurry, I’ll try to keep my name off your list. Everybody’s playing by their own rules And it’s making me feel sick. Convinced my actions Should have given me traction Long before I had to fall in the mix. Everybody’s playing by their own rules, And you think I’m full of it. “We’re gonna see what you’re made of”
3.
Agoraphobia 02:25
Breathing down my neck, Scaring me to death. Failure to connect, We could avoid in retrospect. Wrestle with the world outside. Feeling safe in the home that surrounds you. Connecting all the perfect lines. Give up or give in. I want to let you in, But what can you give me? I wound up underneath your skin, But could you forgive me? How do you feel in your clean pressed clothes? Finding comfort where no one goes.
4.
Chemicals 01:31
5.
Crochet 02:34
Bitter taste stops time. short cigarettes smoked in the dark by a few close friends. With my heart outside of my chest, My seat starts to fuse Where my body ends. I didn’t heed your warning. Couldn’t take my own advice. Now as the world turns slowly, I’ll play nice If you’ll play nice. You think you’re not any good at all. Would you cover my back When I’m too scared to let go? We didn’t come this far For pleasantry talk And social scars. So, I’ll stop my rambling, I’ll stop my rambling. You swear you’re not any good at all. Would you cover my back When I’m too scared to let go? Stitching ends to justify the means. So, cut my thread I’m unraveling. Cut my thread I’m unraveling.
6.
Time cannot move slower In the place where I grew up. A city and its people Seeking comfort in their cups, And isn’t my business, But I can’t shake the feeling They’re lying to themselves. Pay for the privilege of dying, Just like everybody else. This woman said she’s from New Jersey, Sick from opiates and gin. Her hair tied around her rosary, Seeking refuge from her sins. And she says I should help her, With a bit of loose change and by lending her my phone. But god damn if she doesn't remind me, The air is toxic back at home. So, take a minute, Are your plans still working? Would you tell me if it all was worth it? Are you where you want to go? Well-adjusted? In control of your feelings at this time? Still searching For the things that make your heart stop hurting. Seeking comfort for your soul. Abandon all control. You’re still a ways off.
7.
Caroline 02:42
Woke up to smoke and mirrors. Stern red voices tell you that you’re on your own. You were only six years old. Heat from the barrel steaming, Sends your father straight into the atmosphere, Wishing he could still be here. Caroline, Oh sweet Caroline… Do you think that we’ve lost control? Kids stocking guns and ammo, “Catastrophic” – read it in a magazine douse them all in kerosene. I don’t want to be righteous, But we both want to believe There’s something bigger than this out there.
8.
Loss of momentum leads you astray. Cross your eyes, walk the other way. If you always want to feel the same, Cover up your face Never show your emotions, Hide them away. But you don’t believe in anything. No, you don’t believe in anything And I don’t blame you. Better reluctant than on the wrong side. From the start I was in your corner, From the start I was on your side. I don’t blame you. No, I don’t blame you. Take your prescription. We’ll dumb it down. Live to walk and talk another day. If you always want to feel this way, Give up your faith. Don’t you show your devotion. They’ll take that away. Live to walk and talk another day.
9.
Summon your savior To see if he’s dead. Seventeen minutes of shit conversation Dance in my head. Lay down your burdens. Carry yourself. You can play therapist rife with confusion When I don’t want your help. No I don’t want your help.
10.
The Shakes 02:15
Give up your demons if you want to come home. We can’t be civil if you’re gonna be cold ‘cause you’re a damn good liar and I know how you feel. Hey, I haven’t known you for long, But please take the wheel. Show me I can trust you. Show me that it’s real. Know you’ve got options if you’re feeling estranged. Look in my eyes if you are truly ashamed, I’ll watch your heart break slowly And take you by surprise. I know you did it for a few good reasons, But I don’t understand. Hey, I haven’t known you for long, But please take the wheel. Show me I can trust you. Show me I can feel. I know you hid it for a few good reasons, But I don’t understand.
11.
Gravity 03:11
Gravity does what gravity wants. Pulling us back from the losing front… Seeing myself in a sliding door, Sweet cyanide and apple core. Tonight we sit beside the ruin, Convinced we almost had it all. Who knew your faith could be so fluid? Cover up our losses… Vanity comes as sanity goes. Spitting our teeth on the basement floor. Viewing ourselves in a crowded way… I’m gonna lose my soul at the end of days. Tonight we sleep beside the ruin, Convinced we almost had it all. Who knew your faith could be so fluid? Cover up our losses… Gravity does what gravity wants
12.
Stop me If I drop my lines or speak out of queue. Shot me With a clean-cut lens, a new point of view What if I were you? Would I see myself in rose-colored light? Would I be so sure I knew I was right? Finding center, Step into the light. Love me, Then recognize the fact that you do. Scrub me Like salt inside your opening wounds. What if I were you? Would I see myself in rose-colored light? Would I be so sure I knew I was right? Front and center, Step into the light.
13.
“Pull out your clothes, You’re made for something special.” If that’s what it takes to get you out of bed. You think you’re meant for California, But that’s just in your head. I saw you howling at the street lights, Pressed against the skin you want to shed. You tore down all the walls for answers And found this shit instead. You and I remember in distinctly different ways How we realized that we simply don’t belong. Like a cast of shallow characters performing on a stage. Our final bow before the curtain comes. Throw up your hands like everyone’s offensive. Give up to God if that’s your cup of tea. Once everybody else around you Is bitter just like me. Don’t let the poison that surrounds you Stifle out the life you want to live. Please know it truly doesn’t matter And truly never did. You and I have woken up With hollow copies of our names, With a scripted and directed set of lines. Like a cast of shallow characters performing on a stage. You know we’ll soon be fading from their minds. You and I, we both remember in distinctly different ways How we realized that we simply don’t belong. Like a cast of shallow characters performing on a stage, Our final bow before the curtain comes. Our final bow before the curtain comes, before the curtain comes…

credits

released March 3, 2017

A WILL AWAY is

Matt Carlson
Collin Waldron
John McSweeney
Sean Dibble

Produced and mixed by Gary Cioffi at Maximum Sound Studios

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A Will Away Naugatuck, Connecticut

Naugatuck Music Band

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